Becoming a man…

A friend of mine once went on a hunting trip with his dad and uncles. It was his “become a man trip.” They sat up late at night in a cabin telling heroic football and basketball stories stroking their ego and reliving the good ol’ days. They got up early and each went their way to their posts with their rifles and camo to wait for the deer they had been tracking that fall. My friend sat in his tree waiting when a doe walked out into the open. Nervous he put her in the scope and pulled the trigger. The deer dropped to the ground, but not dead. All the men came to the spot smiling to see the kill. His dad told him to finish her. The young boy took out his knife and cut her throat. He did it. When he stood back up his dad put his hand on his shoulder and said, “now you’re a man.” They all hi fived him and patted him on the back. He smiled on the outside, but was in agony inside. If that is what being a man was supposed to be, then he wanted nothing to do with it.

Growing up you always hear of some, “he’s a great man,” or “what a man of God.” It always seems that somewhere in your life you will cross the threshold of boyhood to manhood. No one ever tells you where that is, when it is, or what it looks like. That’s because no one knows. You’re always waiting for that day that you feel like a man. We think we’re supposed to be bigger, more sturdy, and that some where inside of us we will be more confident and sure of our every wise decision, that we will be able to make anything happen any where, and that nothing is out of our reach or realm of knowledge. We think we’re supposed to be Superman. The truth is we will have those moments, but 98% of the time we feel like Clark Kent.

Let me take the pressure off of you. You don’t have to be superman all the time. There. I said it. Do you feel better? Good. Someone needed to tell you. Otherwise you would keep walking around feeling like everything you do is a failure.

There is never a point that you come to, a line that you cross, or a moment in time that you become a man. Where you are in life does not make you a man. What you’ve done does not make you a man. Why, because you never become a man, but are always becoming.

Becoming a man is not a destination, but a road traveled. It’s not a glorious road laden with riches and tales of greatness (though they may come). It’s not a road filled with travelers that can always tell you the way (though you will certainly find some). It’s the road less traveled, laid by mercy, paved with grace, and forged by Love. It teaches humility, and it is humility that gives us confidence to keep walking.

Its no wonder that the majority of men in America base their measure of success by how much money they make each year, what car they drive, and how big of a house they live in. No one has ever given them another way to be measured. The measuring stick for men is not a bank account, an engine, or job title… it’s the Cross.

The Cross is the most simplistically complex thing in all of history. It is our destination and beginning. It speaks of defeat and victory, surrender and embrace, violence and compassion, death and life, judgment and mercy, accusation and truth, selfishness and selflessness. There is not one area of a man’s life that cannot and will not be measured by this eternal icon.

What makes it so immovable is not the wood it was made out of or the time in which it was established, but the Man that hung on it. It was Christ the Man who first walked the road less traveled. With every step down that road he gave us victory over every area of our lives as sons, friends, husbands, and fathers.

Many men make the mistake of measuring their manhood by their fathers, mentors, and friends. There is only one Man to measure yourself by, and you probably don’t even know how he measures you. Each of those men in your life that you look up to are not you, and you are definitely not them. You were not made to be. God did not mess up on you and get it right with them. I guarantee you for every area of their life that you admire; there are two that you would not if you knew about them. They may not even be bad things, but just not they way you would do them. THAT’S OKAY.

If our goal for manhood is anything less that Christ than we will fall short of our potential and our destiny. Did you ever hear a basket ball player say, “man if I could only be like Tony Brown then that would be great?” No. Why? Because he rode the bench for the 1985 Chicago bulls. But how many basket ball players wanted to be Michael Jordan, who was also on that team? I know you can’t compare Michael Jordan to Christ, but the point remains. Why would you set your goal for anything less than the greatest?

The amazing part is that Man that is our goal did not set himself upon a pedastool that we hopelessly reach for knowing inside that we will never get there. He did the opposite. He came down from His throne, put on flesh forever, and put the same spirit in us that gave him strength to live Holy unto the Father day in and day out.

Our Goal became our Grace by becoming a Man…